Want to a Millionaire ( and Happy too )...???

This time i am not going to inflict cerebral pain on my readers by asking them all the irrelevant autistic questions like 'How do i cycle to the South Pole..? ' , 'Why Baba Ramdev doesn't  shave..?'....and all the other " i gotta know this shit" kinda things....

As much jargon challenged as i sound , i am sure that one thing i want to become in life is filthy rich (first priority) and happy (in case if money doesn't bring that along)....and when it comes to the relation between money and happiness....i have been forcefully made to accept that money doesn't bring you the eternal happiness...so nor does the poverty....to explain it in  a desi way , its like watching a Tushar Kapoor movie in a shabby single screen cinema and a high end multiplex with reclining couches, simultaneously....you will get ultra bored in both the cases....the only difference here is that in the latter one you'd pay more to get bored...(soon, the directors will start paying Tushar kapoor for not appearing in their movies)....but realistically one has to accept that gone are the days of Maurya's and Mughal's when the respect and ranking was based on your acts and learning. Today, the principal badge of status is money, and the things the money can buy....and even if it can't buy happiness, it can definitely lease it out for sometime...but you know what ,  not having sufficient money always gives you a perpetual 'something is missing' kind of feeling, its like watching a chinese kung-fu movie dubbed in Hindi....you can always sense some awkwardness....and whenever a person feels poor...he tries to earn more....he tries really hard  (similarly the way Salman Rushdie tries hard to write the impenetrable English)....if he makes it big in life...well and good....if  he doesn't then he thinks that he can't be happy for rest of his life.

I think i have started to sound like a drunken version of 'Sri Sri Ravishankar Maharaj'......its time to get back to something which is "ha ha" funny and not 'Strange' funny.

Disclaimer :  No matter how much ever i try to act like an egalitarian, i am not. I am a hedonist and supporter of elitism. Moreover, i love Mega yachts, fast cars and Forbes.com is my homepage.

For aam gareeb aadmi who survives on vada pav (and loves Rakhi sawant) , the money is just a manifestation of labor....they don't think of anything beyond 'Do waqt ki roti' (and some desi liquor )...for them becoming a millionaire is as difficult as giving chunkey pandey a lead role in a Yash chopra movie....but most of them look as if they are happy with their lives ...they have kids who go to the municipal schools....the kids later take up their own kholis and the life cycle goes on.....they eat good fish once a  week and watch doordarshan on a common TV kept in the centre of the chawl.....most of the news channels also survive on these kind of  people....because chawls and slums are the places where most of the catchy blue-collar shit happens....and whenever these type of  beings come on news channels, their expressions are worth noticing....neither do they show any happy feelings nor do they cry about their struggle....their faces look as if somebody told them to divide 50837948025 by 179.293 without using a calculator...most of the politicians also thrive on their votes but politicians don't do anything beyond giving rhetorical speeches...and a standard speech goes like this..." my dear gareeb janta...Nostradamus predicted that you people would be losers....and whatever he says always comes true....so i really can't help you.."....and that's the reason why slums always grow in size....i have never seen a slum shrinking. Btw...by the time you finish reading this post...the top 10 richest people in the world would have got richer by a few hundred million dollars , combined....and even if you don't finish reading, they will get richer anyways.....

While the 'money and happiness' is still running on the back of my mind...i have come up with this equation. Pls note that the money here means 'Substantial amount of money'.

1. Money + happiness = Good  life.
2. this means that only Money = Good life - happiness.
3. and only Happiness = Good life - Money.

In this equation there is an invisible Co-efficient which is know as 'The Government' and it subtracts a little bit of everything, the money, the happiness and so the good life.

The government by its very nature is made to suck up on its subjects by spending less than required and levying more than required....talking of India, 57% of our population survives on 715 rupees a month...the sugar is $ 1 per Kg...equivalent to the rates in the U.S.A...and around 61 % of our Members of parliament are officially crorepati ( as per the affidavit submitted by them, although the spell-check in my text edit notes (mac) suggested Corrupt instead of crorepati which is also very true in itself )....and these figures don't seek the need of any further gyaan.

Like everything else in the world, the 'getting rich' part has also got some pros and cons....when it comes to the pros, the principal one is that your prospective (insanely hot) wife will likely ignore your ugliness, alcoholism, Obesity and lack of education...but have you ever thought of cons of being rich....there are few, the leading ones being :

• There are high chances of your close ones getting kidnapped. 
• The charities people will always be at your gate.
• The income tax people could place a spy outside your office.
• And lastly you could bang your imported expensive sports car after heavy drinking at a page 3 party and run-over the road side dwellers.

But, I believe that the benefits would any day discount the disadvantages and that's the real catch....i mean, who wouldn't want to follow an ultra lavish lifestyle....vacation on a Mediterranean island twice a year....collect antiquities from around the world and much more.....at-least i am not a saint who is in search of some cosmic bliss....my philosophies have been very much materialistic since the very beginning....and by default i have become a part of "Moolah" race...but one thing i know for sure is that the richest guy in the world may not be the happiest guy in the world....and in the end even if you win the rat race, you would still be a rat...but a rat with a few million dollars.